Mars direct and the drive towards Winter (part 1)

It’s been two days since Mars in Aries went direct and despite the anticipation I experienced in the week prior (I’ll have my energy back! I’ll be motivated to finish unpacking!), I feel overwhelming sadness. This could be attributed to anything: how lonely I’ve felt with my partner being injured; excruciating COVID-filled headlines about the insufferably isolated elderly residents of care homes; or knowing that I’m unable to give my friend’s daughter a hug on her upcoming ninth birthday.

What’s Mars direct for? a friend recently asked. This isn’t my approach to transits. I don’t ask what they’re for. There is an entire area of study called mundane astrology, and I’ve found in recent years it has become more widespread with an increase of astrological reads on microblogging platforms (such as Instagram). Have you ever seen a post like “what will happen to the Prime Minister when Pluto enters Aquarius”? That is mundane astrology, and that’s not what I do, not because I don’t value it. I’m just in love with reading individual charts.

So: how will Mars direct affect me? I refer to my ephemeris, checking when Mars was in Aries the last time around, and then hunt for clues in my own life. First things first: Mars was in Aries for an ungodly amount of time this time around. Typically Mars transits a sign for about six weeks. This time with the retrogrades, all told this transit through Aries will take about six months. Mars has been transiting my 4th House. I had endless battles with an abusive neighbour, an unbearable amount of noise, deeply unsettling arguments with family, and a feeling that I was going to be pushed out of my home whether I was ready to or not. I prayed, I ritualized, I recorded arguments and noise. Natally, I have a 4th House Aries Mars. There was a lot of fighting and frequently violent fighting growing up in my house. This type of discordant energy is not unfamiliar to me, but boy do I hate it.

I happened to move when summer ended this year, away from the terrible neighbour, away from strife. I landed somewhere special and beautiful, and I get to stay here for as long as I want. My move came as a surprise, though it wasn’t. I had praying to my spirit guides for over a year, trying to find a safe and happy home. I planted seed after seed after seed, until finally one day I listened to a podcast during which Jessie Susannah Karnatz uttered the words my soul needed, and the rusted wheel of desire for safety turned.

‘Allow yourself to want what you need,’ she said. I allowed myself to step fully into my desirous 4th House Mars in Aries. I allowed myself to want what I needed. I allowed myself to tell my guides I really, really, really need this. I really want this. I allowed myself to scream out loud, when walking over a city bridge and traffic flowing by Dad, help me! I wanted a secure home, because I needed one. I wanted a safe home, because I needed one. I wanted a laundry room, because I needed one.

to be continued